How Much Has REALLY Changed?

Last night, I went out to dinner with an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a while and when I walked into the restaurant; I tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around he said “What the hell happened to the rest of you?”  It is always uplifting to see people’s reactions to seeing me especially after not having seen me for a while.  I’m the same ME, just smaller.

So, today I’d like to talk about the big changes and how they have affected me.  There have been obvious changes in my body over the past few months and I am thankful to have made the changes.

  • I have lost over 110 pounds.
  • I have lost 20 inches off my waist
  • I have gone down 2+ shirt sizes
  • I have thrown out or donated to goodwill every piece of clothing in my closet dresser that was too big.
  • I’m able to run (well, jog and not all that fast; but hey its a start)
  • I have accomplished every goal that I have set out to accomplish with regards to weight loss so far (I’m not done yet!)

Having made the above list, I’m pretty pleased with what I have been able to do thus far.  Part of what I am struggling with is that I don’t feel any differently.  Sure, I have new clothes and I am much more fit than I have been in 20 years; but inside, I just don’t feel all that differently.  I don’t know what I was expecting when I committed to changing my lifestyle to be  more healthy, but I’m sure I expected to feel differently.  Would I be happier?  Nah, probably not.  I was (and still am) a mostly happy guy who is thankful for the love that I receive every day!  Would people look at me differently?  They do, but only people who haven’t seen me in a while.  Every day people don’t think much of it; because I am who I am; they don’t know anything else.

When I was a really fat guy, I was happy and everything was cool; I was just (XXXX)large.  Maybe I felt like a 220lb guy in a 370lb body?

I’m really hoping that my long term success will benefit from the feeling that, on the inside, I’m not all that different than when I started. I’m guessing that the bottom line is that a miserable fat guy will make a miserable skinny guy… change your life to get healthy; don’t look to weight loss to make you happy; because it won’t.

2 Replies to “How Much Has REALLY Changed?”

  1. It is great to see the blog you have put together because it a great way to get your thoughts of your transformation out.

    The reason I am posting a comment is in regards to you comment about “feeling differently.” Most people want to loss weight because for all the physical and medical reasons but few look past the journey of weight loss, so you have a new body…..

    Last year, I hit my goal weight and peak performance of my life. I thought after a year and half journey I would feel a great sense of accomplishment, joy, pride or for that matter something. It just was not there. I had buried some many feelings and desires so deep for so many years it was hard realizing I did something for me. Even though I was down 90 pounds, I still felt the same as I did at 330. The biggest challenges for me were reconnecting to who I wanted to be and WHY. Also, who am I now that I am not the fat, calorie gorging and lethargic Brent? What do people think of my journey? How do I act around those who still want me to be the fat and funny Brent?

    What I am trying to say as your get closer to your goals the emotions and questions become raw but it means your are making the proper long term changes. Think of it as a small plateau, just as in weight loss. Keep on driving past the plateaus because in no time you will mentally no longer see the 370 pound Aric, you will see the improved Aric.

    Thanks for the free therapy session!

  2. I can totally understand that. For me, I feel like its totally the opposite. I never felt “really fat”; I always just felt I was healthy and athletic.. the reality of being the “fat guy” is what got me motivated to lose the weight. Now that I actually have slimmed down quite a bit and am a lot more active I feel more “like myself” than I did as a fat guy.

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